Friday, September 10, 2010

10 Things Sanrio Addicts Should NOT Do

First thing to report is that I have created a Facebook Page for those who want to follow me and hear about my quirky thoughts about Sanrio. Click the link on the left side. Leave me any of your thoughts, even the weirdest kind and I'll reply back with my usual sunny banter. If you don't have a facebook, you can always catch my comments on twitter: ltsaddict.

Now the next item news on the list to report: 

Small Gift Tour aka Hello Kitty Statewide Tour
The short version to their official news on this tour is that Sanrio is coming near you to selected cities across the states. It's another version of the Three Apples event that took place in Los Angeles, but this time around coming to other cities as well. Cities include Las Vegas, Austin, Atlanta, Miami(Dec. 2-5), New York, and more! The L.A. event(Nov. 12-21) will be curated by JapanLA, another fabulous store for sanrio addicts.

Lastly, my mind wouldn't stop buzzing, so I wrote up my own Sanrio world through this list. In my world, Hello Kitty exists for real. Hope you like it.

Junolyn's List of What Not to Do

1.   You Must Not Get a Brain -  I wrote up a list to go on a rehab diet, but ended up almost terminating my addiction! Don't think too much like this addict. Your brain will explode and where will your Hello Kitty collection end up without you? If it was up to your sanrio enabler, in the trash can, of course!

2.  You Must Not Get a Cat - Once you get a cat, you'll never be able to claw your way out of your sanrio addiction. It's a proven fact. Look at what I am doing right now. I am writing a list on what addicts shouldn't be doing. The obsession will take over your brain and you will constantly be tweeting and blogging about your addiction of the feline cat. Look at how I just blogged for two days straight! It's a sign that I need help.

3.  You Must Not Start a Fight - Are you one of those who are just bored constantly - like me? C'mon, it's super fun to be the cause of a feud. Try it. And anyways, Momo and Luxe deserve it for being happy-go-lucky kitties. Who likes a feline cat always cheerful and smiling? I sure don't. Another thing you should not do is pick a fight with the object of your affection. That is a no-no! *shaking a finger under your nose.*  In my case, I take great pleasure in finding ways to stick it to Sanrio. I really should stop before it backfires on me. I really should...

4.  You Must Not Chase After Kitty - Once you are in a "tizzy" about finding the latest released sanrio product, you will drive yourself and others around you insane. You should have a big red fat danger sign stamped on your forehead, so those who want to keep safe can actually avoid you at all costs. Remember to breathe and count to 10 before you bring up the image of the desired Hello Kitty object. Now, add an image of a car running over your desired product. I know, I just killed your kitty! I feel so bad. Not. That is an image you need to keep from getting out of control and causing unnecessary accidents to others. A lesson you need to learn about not chasing after kitty with so much oomph.

5.  You Must Not Share Your Treasures - Who actually likes sharing their precious toys? No one that I know of. It's the best kept secret addicts could share with one another - buying double copies. It's a good thing that the rest of society does not know about this little gem of info. When your little sibling comes up to you and *shares* your Hello Kitty plushie, you can sigh in relief because you have another copy hidden away in your secret place. A hidden place that is filled with your double copies that no one knows it even existed, not even your fellow addicts! Oops! I just revealed the existence of my secret sanrio double stash. So, take note, addicts. This is one of my many secrets to share with you.

6.  You Must Not Share Your Resources - Listen up, addicts. I will tell you this only once and I do mean, only once. Deliberately mislead your competition with the wrong information on how to get the Exclusive Limited Edition Sanrio product that has been out for less than a day. Yes, I am encouraging you to lie. I know, I know. Lying is bad. Really awful. Who are you kidding? It's all about first come, first serve. Get yours first before helping out another addict. After you've secured your exclusive object, then call up and apologize to your fellow addict on your *misinformed* information. Work those tears! Shh! They'll never know. It'll be our little secret between us, okay?

7.  You Must Not Become a Stalker - You might not know this about me, but I'm a secret stalker of Sanrio's. Yes, that's right. I am the #1 Sanrio Stalker in Cali. I, even, have a membership card as evidence. Seriously? You don't know we exist and have our own secret society? Boy, am I letting out a lot of secrets today!

Sanrio still doesn't know about me secretly taping their every move, but as President of Sanrio Stalker Society (Triple S), I have the important task of gathering information on our beloved kitty's keeper called Sanrio. We, Triple S's, have to protect the well being of our favorite cat, Hello Kitty. It's why we are making sure we come up with plans to influence Sanrio in our way of thinking on stylizing HK.

8.  You Must Not Mention My Name - We discussed this when you first joined my Sanrio world that you cannot reveal my existence to anyone. I'm invisible. Yes, one of my many super powers as a Sanrio addict. I see all, I hear all, and no one can see me. It's the best way to get to Sanrio. They won't see me coming until it's too late. My goal? Steal their heavily guarded treasure, Hello Kitty.

9.  You Must Not Get a Therapist - You know what will spill from your lips once you are in front of the good doctor? You will be spilling all my secrets on the sanrio addict world. You're breaking the contract that we have going. Remember when you first came to my site, you signed on the dotted line in agreement to not share any of my secrets to those who are sane and normal?! Going to see a head doctor will only hurt you in the long run. It will give me a headache to think about your Hello Kitty collection going into the garbage. Wait a minute-- can I get your telephone number? If you don't need your collection anymore, I'll take it. *swiping my hands in anticipation*
10. You Must Not Listen to Me - Truly, I mean it. Don't listen to this crazy addict. My reasoning and thinking are completely different from normal people.  From your enabler's point of view, I don't give good advice. You might want to listen to the smarty pants behind you. Actually, this whole list defeats the purpose if you only focus on #10.

No comments:

Post a Comment